by Julia Genkinger
inspired by TBAWP 2020’s group discussion
Falling in love for the first time is easy
Your first companion, your first commitment to someone you care for
You’ve never been destroyed by love before.
Love is joy.
And when it ends your pieces are so broken
Scattered across the bathroom floor
And you have only your hands to pick up the sharp, tiny pieces
Of your shattered heart.
After your first love, companionship doesn’t feel the same.
People come and go quickly
And love turns from being an added joy
To something you crave and need to breathe
And the love you’re looking for isn’t even the fulfilling love
But the stable love
The person who can support you physically and financially
The person who can be a parent
You forget that the first step to love is joy.
Because joy isn’t practical in your mind
After a love based on joy failed the first time.